Struggling With Balance

by Julie Ungaro, Ungaro Designs
(Raleigh, NC, USA)

I am not unlike many other jewelry designers that have a more than full-time job and full life and added the hobby that they love as a business - on the side.

Something that I am struggling with, is not feeling guilty to spend hours in the jewelry office at home creating and making designs.

My full-time job is 50+ hours, then I have my home life of a husband and 5 dogs and all that comes with that.

I love all of it and am struggling with balance. I want to have it all without sacrificing my health.

Julie Ungaro
Ungaro Designs

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Struggling With Balance

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Balance?
by: Patricia

I don't have a full time job outside of my being an artist EXCEPT that taking care of my elderly mother has begun to be a full time job as her health worsens. Does it count even though I don;t get paid?

I am still working on balancing all the stress I'm presently under. It can be done because others have done so. I've started reading Agingcare.com and have learned that caregivers such as myself are becoming more and more prevelant. Is anyone really balancing anything?

What actually does it mean to say that things are balanced? Honestly, I haven't a clue.

Balance
by: Anonymous

I think the key to being balanced is making a commitment to yourself, and you have to be honest with yourself. It takes discipline and it's hard. having your own business is sometimes more work than a typical 9-5. I'm going to say this, while I type at 12:42 am, but what I did at one point, was created a calendar and first marked off important things happening in my family. Next was the hard part..deciding when I could work my business. If it was a Saturday, I chose specific times, and only during those times would I work it or hold parties. An exceptional show here or there would get squeezed in, but as for office time, phone time, marketing, computer, it was all done in the times I selected. That gave me balance, with my DS company. Now that i've started my own business, I need to revisit that calendar.

Balance
by: Carolina Gonzalez

I agree with Patricia - there is no such thing as balance. Trying to make the best you can of the present is more than enough. Though you can achive a certain amount of pre-scheduling, life always get in the way - and I think that is actually a wonderful thing. If we control the future too much, we leave no space for surprise!

Balance is hard
by: Lynda`

I really know what you are saying. I own a hair salon, work on a horse farm in the morning, that does not house my horses. I work at a sewer plant every other weekend and help my friends with their horses when they go away. (whitch is often) I also have 2 horses 2 dogs and a cat. I just got engaged and have a new house mate. Who is very understanding. Thank God for that. My fiance is sweet and understands my passion but at times I feel I am neglecting him.I am lucky to have my salon here where I live. So if I am not busy cutting hair I can work on my jewelry. I am usually busy for the most part at my shop. When I get home, horses are fed, dogs are fed, and the cat is fed. I go to my room and start creating, advertising, writing blogs, down loading pic. Ect. I work until bed time around 11pm.

So I set a new rule just last week. 9pm is limit and the room must be shut down. It gives me 3 hours to work and I find I do not waste so much time. I would love to have a maid too. Cleaning the house has become a chore I don't do much of unless I'm on the phone, I dust! So with the new rule includes: I must do at least one house hold chore a day or no studio.
So far it seems to be working but I see jewelry in my dreams and day dreams. I wonder if I'm sick? I hope to keep going with my new rules because I don't seem to feel as tired and I have been able to get more done.
I think you are only as balanced as you feel. If you feel stressed make some changes. If you get sick from being stress it only makes your life worse.
Thanks for letting me share.
Lynda

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Submitted by: Lynda`

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I really know what you are saying. I own a hair salon, work on a horse farm in the morning, that does not house my horses. I work at a sewer plant every other weekend and help my friends with their horses when they go away. (whitch is often) I also have 2 horses 2 dogs and a cat. I just got engaged and have a new house mate. Who is very understanding. Thank God for that. My fiance is sweet and understands my passion but at times I feel I am neglecting him.I am lucky to have my salon here where I live. So if I am not busy cutting hair I can work on my jewelry. I am usually busy for the most part at my shop. When I get home, horses are fed, dogs are fed, and the cat is fed. I go to my room and start creating, advertising, writing blogs, down loading pic. Ect. I work until bed time around 11pm. So I set a new rule just last week. 9pm is limit and the room must be shut down. It gives me 3 hours to work and I find I do not waste so much time. I would love to have a maid too. Cleaning the house has become a chore I don't do much of unless I'm on the phone, I dust! So with the new rule includes: I must do at least one house hold chore a day or no studio. So far it seems to be working but I see jewelry in my dreams and day dreams. I wonder if I'm sick? I hope to keep going with my new rules because I don't seem to feel as tired and I have been able to get more done. I think you are only as balanced as you feel. If you feel stressed make some changes. If you get sick from being stress it only makes your life worse. Thanks for letting me share. Lynda

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Oops.You Can Fall But Get Up Again
by: Patricia

Scheduling doesn't really work very well when one is caring for an elderly person who is sliding into dementia. I do try to schedule at least on a daily basis, but that doesn't work. What I am doing now is making a list of things I'd like to get to each day and then being satisfied if I manage to get to three of them.

When an elderly parent calls for help, you can't say "Soory, it's not on my schedule."

Hahahaha! Made myself laugh. Today I am hoping to bead, clean, and get to taxes. So far I've fixed (sort of) the stove, dealt with some medicare issues, beaded a little, helped my mom with a few necessary things, looked at email, ran a spybot, and am fighting day 2 of a migraine. It's only 1 PM so there's still time for cleaning and taxes.

But there's so much I need to do (marketing and promoting) that I know I won't get to. Why am I here? Reading and responding give me hope and encouragement and strength.

Hm. would doing my blog and newsletter accomplish the same?

Perhaps Balance is doing whatever it takes to get through each day and its many crises with sanity more or less intact. There may not be any task balance but maybe some sanity balance. Of course each of us has a different set of circumstances and I wish everyone the best at dealing with theirs.

Happy Creating!

Balancing or Juggling Life
by: Melissa

Hi there,
I don't have a bead business but I understand that everyone needs some sort of balance in their lives, but balance has a different definition for each person.

I know you love all that you do but sometimes you will need to pull back from some things and give yourself more time, even a few minutes at a time. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be any good to anyone else. You have to remember that you are the only person who really knows what you need, where you hurt and when you really need to say "No". It is hard especially as a woman - for the most part I think we are natural people pleasers and feel like we must take care of everything.

Well, I hope this helps. Just carve out a little bit more "me" time and try to pull away a little from those things that are really big stressors. I know it will be hard - one step at a time. We don't want too many gray hairs before its time.

Thanks For Your Comments
by: Julie Ungaro

I want to thank each of you for taking the time to write your comments. I truly appreciate all of them.

All my best,
Julie Ungaro
Ungaro Designs

I am in the same boat.
by: Connie D Martin

I thought I was the only one who was trying to juggle a family and all the responsibilities that come with the life of a mother, wife, grandmother and being the daughter of an elderly mother. Little did I realize that there are others on this good earth who live the same kind of life that I do. I loved reading your article, it was so enlightening. Sometimes I feel that it is so hard to squeeze time into my life to work on my beading because that is what I really want to be doing. But I have faith that when God is ready for me to spend more time at my hobby, then he will create the time for me to do just that.

Hmmmm . . . . .
by: Rita

Aren�t you the lucky one! To have all of those wonderful and blessed things in your life and look good too! Keep up the good work!

Food For Thought
by: Deco916

As with most of the comments, I have to work on being balanced with my love for making jewelry. I too work a full-time job. I've made a commitment with myself to TRY to put spiritual matters first such as some Bible reading and study. Then comes the household matters such as cooking and cleaning. Believe me it's very difficult sometimes to stay focused because I'm always thinking of designs that I should try. But one very interesting comment made is that working your own business can consume many hours of your time! I sell my jewelry at home parties/open houses. And I never thought about that this is a "business" to which I have to devote a lot of hours. With that in mind, I don't feel so guilty about spending so much time creating and making beautiful jewelry.

Update on Balance
by: Patricia

Things have changed for me somewhat and not really for the better. But then I didn't expect it to. I am the primary caregiver for an aging parent suffering from the onset of dementia. As her health declines, I take up the slack in keeping her balanced. Recently, for a 10 hour visit to the ER I had to practically browbeat my way back because I knew she would not be able to answer their questions coherently. I am taking on more and more of such simple things as getting meals and putting things (back) away where they belong.

This is why I moved back up to CT (it wasn't just missing New England Winters) from MD. We want our mother to be albe to live in her house and my presence ensures this. So, given that my priorities are my mother first and everything else after that, I had a conference with myself and consciously recognized that, no, I can't do it all given a 24 hour day and the requirement of keeping my sanity. Therefore, I have decided not to try to schedule as much as I had been (not even close) and to be patient and satisfed with whatever I can manage to do.

That conscious decision has made all the difference in my feeling as if I am balancing the spinning plates. Instead of worrying and berating myself, I'm able to be more patient with my mother and with myself.

I know that in the future my art WILL generate enough income. Things are rough now but given the high quality of my work, it won't stay rough.

Patricia

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Submitted by: Patricia

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Things have changed for me somewhat and not really for the better. But then I didn't expect it to. I am the primary caregiver for an aging parent suffering from the onset of dementia. As her health declines, I take up the slack in keeping her balanced. Recently, for a 10 hour visit to the ER I had to practically browbeat my way back because I knew she would not be able to answer their questions coherently. I am taking on more and more of such simple things as getting meals and putting things (back) away where they belong. This is why I moved back up to CT (it wasn't just missing New England Winters) from MD. We want our mother to be albe to live in her house and my presence ensures this. So, given that my priorities are my mother first and everything else after that, I had a conference with myself and consciously recognized that, no, I can't do it all given a 24 hour day and the requirement of keeping my sanity. Therefore, I have decided not to try to schedule as much as I had been (not even close) and to be patient and satisfed with whatever I can manage to do. That conscious decision has made all the difference in my feeling as if I am balancing the spinning plates. Instead of worrying and berating myself, I'm able to be more patient with my mother and with myself. I know that in the future my art WILL generate enough income. Things are rough now but given the high quality of my work, it won't stay rough. Patricia

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